... and no I can't show you an original copy of my birth certificate because Woody Harrelson spilled bong water on it.
At a recent town-hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his Congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross country to protest highways.
And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife's name right on the first try.
And don't even ask about cabinet members: seven in ten think Napolitano is a kind of three-flavored ice cream.
That's right, half of America looks at books called the Old Testament and the New Testament and cannot figure out which one came first.
We should forget town halls, and replace them with study halls.
James Madison wrote that "pure democracy" doesn't work because "there is nothing to check... an obnoxious individual." Then, in the margins, he doodled a picture of Joe the Plumber.
oh, bill, these are going to leave MAJOR marks!